Dear Joss Whedon,
Have you heard of the Nielsen company?
That was probably a stupid question. I would guess that people who have actually had television shows on air would be up to speed with the Nielsen ratings.

I actually just found out about Nielsen ratings and am outraged! A company that pays families to monitor their tv habits?! They could just pay me to tell them what shows are good and what shows are crap. Seriously, it wouldn't be that hard. In fact it would be the most simple thing since they made the decision to kill Hitler. 

All you have to do is look at who created the show. Are they awesome? If the answer is yes the show would get the green light. Historically awesome people are critical of their own work so they wouldn't let mindless drone shows get made under their name. 

If the person was remarkably un-awesome they would still get a chance but the show would not get the awesome seal of approval and it would have to work twice as hard to get noticed by viewers. If they were able and willing to put the work in then they too would earn the awesome seal of approval.

I think this would really help to weed out some of the terrible shows that keep getting on television and more remarkably staying on television.

Honestly, how many 'Law and Orders' can there be? How many more 'Dawson's Creek's will people allow themselves to gorge their poor helpless minds upon? 

We need better than Nielsen because clearly the people we are monitoring are deeply ignorant and happy staying that way. Dancing with the stars? Where Bristol Palin is considered a star? Really America? 

But enough slamming on the poor people Nielsen monitors. I just wanted you to know that if I had known about how ratings were determined in 2009 I would have found every last one of the monitored homes, tied up their occupants every saturday night and turned all of the TV sets to Dollhouse.

It would never have left the air under my vigilante crusade. And yes I know what you're thinking: wouldn't people start calling the cops after being tied up on saturday night after a few weeks? You caught me. They would have ACTUALLY been slyly administered heavy doses of tylenol PM.... yes it would eventually not be okay for their health but what are few casualties when it comes to reworking the system of ratings?

Josh's writing has taken a small decline in quality since I started his doses. But he was really good to begin with so it didn't hurt to take him down a few pegs. 

Just let me know if you need me to do ANYTHING to help with getting Nielsen straightened out.

Sincerely,

Erin Michele